Hide and Seek

Jeremiah 29:13 “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

This week I read a book called When God Weeps by Joni Eareckson Tada and Steven Estes it explores suffering and where God fits into the picture. This book shook me to the core and broke my heart. Suffering and healing for me are sensitive because of the very personal implications in my own life and of those around me. Please note that if you are going to read this book I have two recommendations, a) read the book in its entirety, not just in part; and b) ask Jesus to reveal Himself to you, otherwise it is like tackling the high seas with little more than a blow up pool toy boat.

I cried so much during my reading of When God Weeps, I even got to the point when I whispered through my tears “I don’t know who you are… You frighten me.” This was the same Jesus who I had become to know on a more intimate level, my best friend, who now felt like a stranger. As I sat on the ground (figuratively speaking) bruised, broken, lost and hiding, Jesus came looking for me. Even though I was a might wary of Him He just simply held me in His arms as I cried a river of tears. He knew ultimately I didn’t need to know all the answers I just needed to know His embrace.

I wondered why Jesus would allow me to read a book that, for a time, destroyed my confidence in Him. I now know Jesus wanted to reveal more of Himself to me. To break free of the box or cookie cutter mould I had previously placed Jesus in. In order to do that He needed to break my preconceived ideas of His character. It is much the same with me, if you don’t look at my entire character you could get the wrong idea. For example, some would say I am stubborn, once I have an idea in my head it is hard to sway me (that’s seen as a negative); on the other hand that stubbornness or determination has gotten me through some really hard times giving me the drive not to give up but to pick myself up and keep going (now it’s a positive).

In Jesus’ arms He began gently reintroducing Himself to me.

1 Corinthians 13:4 – 8a


God is love, but He is so much more.

Job 38:12 & Job 39:26-27



These verses in Job show God’s power, how much He is involved in the finer points of how earth works and that He is not pushed over by anyone.

Psalm 18:19


If you were the only one on earth God would see you worth rescuing because He delights in you.

Isaiah 1:18-20


God is giving you the choice.

If 2016 has taught me anything it is having to personally experience it for yourself. So I want to encourage you to seek Jesus with all your heart for who He truly is, ask for His help to know who He is, because Jesus is already seeking you.



1 Comment
  • David Jones
    Posted at 04:03h, 13 January Reply

    Hi Cath – I loved this. It reached a new height in your honesty about your faith and your journey, and and even better level of fluency in your writing – both of which weren’t slack anyway.

    I love that you are writing about stuff you know deeply, as well as your journey with Jesus.

    (PS – might vs mite)

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