Last week, in The Flickering Flame, I wrote how sometimes life really hurts. This week I wanted to write an appreciation post for those who help life hurt a little less. They are like warm sunshine on a cold and cloudy day. They are like honey with sweetness that can touch the rawness in my life and make it so much better. They bring out the best me and I love them alot. They are my friends and family.

Showing vulnerability and being honest about how I am going is relatively new for me. I always hid behind a smile; scared that if I shared truthfully the joy and also the heartache they would run in the opposite direction because my messiness is too much to handle. I had to start healing from my past and start to finally feel secure in myself to open up.

Lately I have been struggling but here is a few things I have learnt from sharing together:

You are not alone: When I am struggling with life it can seem very lonely; but sharing together makes you realise that you aren’t alone, that they stand with you in the storms of life just as you would stand with them.

It is ok to be vulnerable: It is ok to admit you are not ok and that life hurts at the moment. I have found it to be true that when I share honestly they in turn share honestly about their own struggles sometimes similar to mine.

Gives erspective: When I look at university graduation photos where I am so happy it is easy to forget how hard it was to get to that moment. So let’s review – it was the amazing experience but not without its struggles. For over a year I questioned whether the degree I was studying was right for me. I was annoyed to be going to Bendigo and not Melbourne. I cried the first night on residential accommodation sure I had made the worst mistake of my life. I had to go home every weekend just to cope with my crippling anxiety. I had crisis talks with a friend and my Mum regularly. I struggled to let strangers help me, especially when they had to see me naked. The carer organisation I was first with didn’t listen to me and kept making empty promises which made me feel powerless like in year 7 when I was bullied by a member of staff. My health struggled as I dealt with the ever – increasing demands of university study.

And yet I stayed… and graduated. The good definitely outweighed the bad. The memories made were worth it. So as I am currently struggling with my second degree, it is nice to be reminded that the first time was not easy but the photos prove that I indeed made it despite the challenges. That I can make it again and have my cap and gown moment a second time around.

Good times: It is important to take time out just to have fun and relax.

Cheer squad: They believe in me and encourage me to achieve my dreams as I do for them. I am so proud of what each of them have accomplished.

Love: They love me and I love them. In my darkest moments when I wonder who could love me their faces come to mind.

I am not saying you have to share real and raw with everyone but I encourage you to have some people who you can be that with.

Ecclesiastes 4:10 “If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no – one to help him up!”



  • Ros
    Posted at 12:27h, 27 July Reply

    I was totally dependent on PCs for a short time including the totally naked bit after fracturing/severly dislocating my right arm. Just long enough to give me some insight into that situation which you shared Cathy. My heart goes out to you. Aplause to you for being brave enough to share & help us be more aware & more sensitive to others, of which there are many, in your situation.

  • Marg Borneman
    Posted at 04:06h, 31 July Reply

    Thank you so much Cathryn.
    I really appreciate you taking the time to write your reflections on life. Your openess and transparency are quite a challenge to me. You’re right! It’s okay to be vulnerable. It is a fact of life. It took me a long time to get it though! Blessings Marg

Leave a Reply