24 May Try Again
Once I get the paperwork finalised I will be going back to study, this time a Certificate IV in Accounting. I have to admit that while I am looking forward to completing the course I am also apprehensive. Why? Because I have tried to go back to study after my original degree of Strategic Communication. Last year I embarked on completing a Bachelor of Commerce. I completely failed the first semester. Previously study was the thing I was good at, so I didn’t cope with failure; even to the extent of suicidal thoughts and being diagnosed with depression. Pretty bad hey? I withdrew from the course feeling like a failure.
I realised in the wake of withdrawing that a piece of paper could give me skills, but it couldn’t give me the confidence I needed and, many people have successful businesses without the piece of paper. Honestly, I didn’t have any ideas of how I wanted to use the Commerce degree I only hoped I would have a business idea by the time I finished!
Good did come out of the experience; I was able to start working on the struggle of my worth and where it comes from. I discovered I actually wasn’t a burden on my family and friends. I went about improving the internal dialogue to myself and finding happiness in every day and growing confidence.
I found that many job descriptions for admin/receptionist required the ability to complete financial activities. So I am headed back to study. This time hopefully making better choices learned from my experience when study didn’t go so well.
Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
This time I have clear options of what I can do with this course: a) more options for when applying for jobs b) go into business with a friend c) start my own business. I have learnt for my emotional health it is better to have a few options so if one avenue doesn’t work out I am less likely to panic.
I have reduced the workload: I am completing a TAFE course, not a university degree, so hopefully I will manage it better.
I am studying what I need at this moment: It was tempting to do a diploma but aside from a few business classes in High School I haven’t studied finance subjects so I need to gently break in to the world of finance. I read both course descriptions and decided Certificate IV is what I need; besides I can always upskill later on.
Having a study buddy: Which will help it not feel so isolating studying online.
The course will be completed in less time: YES!
Sure I might fail again, I don’t know how I will go with studying this course. But I don’t want to be scared to try again just because I have failed before and might again. I might do really well we will have to wait and see. I hope you find the courage to learn from the past and try again.