26 Jul Mirror, Mirror
Fun fact about me: as a little girl I loved fairy tales and princesses. My favourite Disney princess was Ariel from the Little Mermaid. I really related to the song ‘A Part of Your World’ because it appealed to my sense of wanting to belong, not to mention she had an amazing singing voice which I wish I had. And to top it off, Ariel got to swim around in the ocean all day long – I would pretend I was a mermaid in the bathtub (ah well). I watched them all. Lately I got thinking about a line from Snow White – let me explain.
Recently I went clothes shopping. The change room was massive which is a rarity and made the experience feel all the more luxurious. But for me change rooms are not awesome places filled with warm and fuzzy feelings. Quite the opposite. Under those glaring flourescent lights, it can become the breeding ground for negativity about my body. Shaming it for everything it is not. The shopping experience started out this way as clothes didn’t fit the way I had hoped they would. Though this time it was not my weight that was the problem but because I am petite many of the styles swamped me. Leaving me feeling discouraged. My Mum suggested we stop as she could see I was in a negative mindset.
I said no. I drew a deep breath and selected something else to try on. This time I was determined to be more positive. Things progressed happier from there. No not everything I tried on fitted properly but I did manage to find some pieces I really liked and made me feel good when I saw them in the mirror on me. I walked away a happy girl although slightly poorer haha.
Following that shopping experience I couldn’t get the line from Snow White “Mirror, Mirror on the wall who is the fairest of them all?” out of my head; nor lots of other questions that swirled around my head. They have made me reflect on my love for myself. Some are below:
“Do I smile at myself in the mirror or do I only frown?”
“Is criticism or compliment first on my lips?”
“Do I see how far I have come or how far I have yet to go?”
“When was the last time I felt beautiful, sexy even?”
“When did you feel confident in your outfit choice without someone complimenting you?”
“Do you feel worthy to be loved?”
“Can you remember a situation you felt most free to be yourself?”
If you asked yourself the same questions above what would the honest answers be? As I answered each one honestly in my heart I discovered that I have improved in many areas. But it depends on the day and I can improve. And you know what? That’s ok. We are all human. It’s ok to admit some days I feel beautiful and just want to dance around in my lingerie yet there are other days I feel fat and not amazing. It is ok to say we want to improve our bodies but I encourage you to also work on your relationship with your body so you can make the changes with love and kindness not hate and desperation (I have been there).
Proverbs 31:10b “She is worth far more than rubies.”