Encouragement / 26.09.2018

I love achieving goals and dreams. It is an incredible feeling that you never forget. You just want more of it. Who doesn’t?   But I have found in myself that my attitude shifts like a boat on a restless sea sailing to achieve that goal or dream I have in mind. I am hopeful. I am despairing. I am determined. I am on the verge of giving up. I am peaceful. I am frustrated. And probably on the top of that list in bold letters should be written I...

Health + Wellbeing / 08.02.2018

I have always been a perfectionist. It has been how I approached life from a very young age. Due to Cerebral Palsy I knew as a little girl I was not perfect physically and would get very frustrated when my body wouldn’t cooperate with what I wanted to do. All in an effort of having a semblance of normal life. The more I tried to involve myself and came up short, my anger and resentment grew for a disability I couldn’t ditch, although I tried. The worst was...

Health + Wellbeing / 01.02.2018

Due to Cerebral Palsy I struggle to walk backwards it is a lot easier to move forwards. Yet in life, figuratively speaking, I can bolt in the opposite direction at a moment’s notice. But I don’t want to be who I once was: full of fear and anxiety, lacking confidence and, at times due to these things, afraid to try; because let’s be honest not many of us like to fail even though falling down is a natural part of life. I read on Instagram one day that...

Health + Wellbeing / 12.10.2017

My Pa in Orange recently celebrated a birthday. So this week’s blog post is a tribute to him. One of the biggest things I am trying to learn, which my Pa seems to do effortlessly, is to never give up. His life has been coloured with hardship, heartache, loss and health issues a plenty. Each time he gets knocked down he manages to pick himself up, adapt and soldier on. For me I tend to break first; floods of tears, feeling like I just can’t get back up again....

Health + Wellbeing / 07.09.2017

Do you remember last week in Happiness Challenge I wrote you are volunteering to gain confidence to be able to apply for paid work? Well over the last couple of weeks my confidence has grown little by little to the point where I didn’t have a panic attack and talk myself out of even applying for a job. Yay! At least for this time anyway; as I am prone to my anxiety ebbing and flowing. A few days previously someone said to me that I should apply for...

Health + Wellbeing / 31.08.2017

I have decided to start a happiness challenge for myself with particular emphasis on right now. Too often I have found myself thinking I was happy when… or more frequently I will be happy when… I will be happy when I get paid employment, I will be happy when I am able to move out and away from my hometown, I will be happy when I have abs, I will be happy when I get to travel particularly internationally, I will be happy when I get married, I...

Health + Wellbeing / 17.08.2017

I have always had low confidence in myself period. It doesn’t matter which area of life we are talking about from my appearance to my talents low confidence seems to be the trademark. Do I want this? If a person was to describe me, what would they say? In the past, especially with my talents, I would manage to turn a compliment into self- induced pressure. I would stress about living up to that compliment next time. During my childhood I had more confidence in comparison to my teen...

Health + Wellbeing / 27.07.2017

Last week, in The Flickering Flame, I wrote how sometimes life really hurts. This week I wanted to write an appreciation post for those who help life hurt a little less. They are like warm sunshine on a cold and cloudy day. They are like honey with sweetness that can touch the rawness in my life and make it so much better. They bring out the best me and I love them alot. They are my friends and family. Showing vulnerability and being honest about how I am going...

Encouragement / 20.07.2017

Sometimes life really hurts. In moments like these it reopens wounds that had started to heal. Emotions are on edge as anger and sadness take turns in being the most dominant emotion. Once hopeful and optimistic to losing hope fast and feeling trapped. Knowing deep down that I am lovable but wondering how that can be. When my belief and trust in Jesus is down to all but a flickering flame that I consider walking away from my source of peace, hope and joy. Darker still, wondering for...

Health + Wellbeing / 13.07.2017

Semester two of university has started this week and I am a little apprehensive. Why? Well when I received my results for semester one it was confirmed that I had failed both subjects. so the whole semester. I say confirmed, because I knew instinctively I wasn’t going to pass based on the results I had been getting. But I still took it hard. For a few days I didn’t tell anyone outside my immediate family because I didn’t want to deal with their reactions fearing they would be...