Encouragement / 18.01.2018

The day I finished up my volunteer position in November last year I chatted to my supervisor about ways I could improve. After offering a few suggestions and encouragement she said “you are really just lacking opportunities”. I knew in that moment I had been building to [dramatic music please]…APPROACHING AN EMPLOYMENT AGENCY! This is a huge step for me as it shows progress in acceptance, confidence and love of myself. As well as, to be honest, choking down my pride. My reasons for avoiding this avenue before was...

Encouragement / 11.01.2018

I hope you had a lovely Christmas and New Year’s celebrations. I had a wonderful Christmas and New Year’s. Having more energy was definitely a big factor in enjoying the festive season but it was more than that for me. It was making memories; for instance we played cricket as a whole family and welcomed in the New Year with family friends, glow stick bracelets, sparklers and fireworks on TV. So different from last year (Turning Over a New Leaf)! The festive season gave me hope and excitement for...

Health + Wellbeing / 23.11.2017

Last week I wrote about my own journey to embracing self – love in What Do You See? This week I would like to focus on another aspect of self – love and that is gratitude. When I began my journey of self – love it came from a negative place. I would exercise because I ‘had’ to lose weight; my relationship with food was full of anxiety (it is still something I am fighting). I had to heal and grow to be able to shift my thinking...

Self Love / 16.11.2017

When it comes to self-love I don’t pretend to have it all together. The way I have viewed my body in the past has been honestly quite sad; with such comments as ‘you are fat’, ‘your arms are too big’ and ‘your skin is too white’ were among my personal favourite criticisms of myself. When I looked in the mirror I would see someone that was way bigger than what I really was and I would look at photos of myself until they turned 'ugly' only focusing on...

Health + Wellbeing / 21.09.2017

There are days when the struggle is really intense. On these days I am quick to tear myself to pieces. I feel like a huge burden to those around me. I wonder why they choose me as their friend or my family puts up with me because they have to; surely not because they want to. When the storm closes in tears are frequent. Overwhelmed is how I would describe days like these. I had one such day yesterday. I wanted to take on the world and change...

Health + Wellbeing / 07.09.2017

Do you remember last week in Happiness Challenge I wrote you are volunteering to gain confidence to be able to apply for paid work? Well over the last couple of weeks my confidence has grown little by little to the point where I didn’t have a panic attack and talk myself out of even applying for a job. Yay! At least for this time anyway; as I am prone to my anxiety ebbing and flowing. A few days previously someone said to me that I should apply for...

Health + Wellbeing / 31.08.2017

I have decided to start a happiness challenge for myself with particular emphasis on right now. Too often I have found myself thinking I was happy when… or more frequently I will be happy when… I will be happy when I get paid employment, I will be happy when I am able to move out and away from my hometown, I will be happy when I have abs, I will be happy when I get to travel particularly internationally, I will be happy when I get married, I...

Health + Wellbeing / 10.08.2017

I wasn’t going to write this; I was going to hold onto it a little longer as I come to terms with yet another label that goes right to my core and infiltrates everything. Two weeks ago I went to the doctor and explained that even though I struggle with anxiety the feelings of deep sadness, hopelessness and suicidal thoughts were new and they worried me. After a lengthy discussion I was diagnosed with reactive depression. Part of me was relieved that I finally had answers to the emotions...

Encouragement / 20.07.2017

Sometimes life really hurts. In moments like these it reopens wounds that had started to heal. Emotions are on edge as anger and sadness take turns in being the most dominant emotion. Once hopeful and optimistic to losing hope fast and feeling trapped. Knowing deep down that I am lovable but wondering how that can be. When my belief and trust in Jesus is down to all but a flickering flame that I consider walking away from my source of peace, hope and joy. Darker still, wondering for...

Self Love / 06.07.2017

Luke 8:24 - 25 “The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Master, Master, we’re going to drown!” He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. “Where is your faith?” he asked his disciples.” As I write this week my foot is hurting due to straining it for the umpteenth time (thanks Dad for strapping it). It was already hurting but making chocolate brownies pushed it over the edge. On one hand I should have taken better care of my...