Health + Wellbeing / 07.06.2018

On Tuesday I finalised my enrolment in a Certificate IV in Accounting! Driving home I felt completely overwhelmed as my past experience of study (that didn’t go so well) filled my mind with insecurity and panic took over my being. My Mum strongly encouraged me to challenge those thoughts. To not just let fear consume me like it is the only option I have. To remember to fight back. You and I have a choice to challenge the negativity and anxiety/fear surrounding ourselves and our lives. I would like to...

Health + Wellbeing / 01.02.2018

Due to Cerebral Palsy I struggle to walk backwards it is a lot easier to move forwards. Yet in life, figuratively speaking, I can bolt in the opposite direction at a moment’s notice. But I don’t want to be who I once was: full of fear and anxiety, lacking confidence and, at times due to these things, afraid to try; because let’s be honest not many of us like to fail even though falling down is a natural part of life. I read on Instagram one day that...

Health + Wellbeing / 21.09.2017

There are days when the struggle is really intense. On these days I am quick to tear myself to pieces. I feel like a huge burden to those around me. I wonder why they choose me as their friend or my family puts up with me because they have to; surely not because they want to. When the storm closes in tears are frequent. Overwhelmed is how I would describe days like these. I had one such day yesterday. I wanted to take on the world and change...

Health + Wellbeing / 10.08.2017

I wasn’t going to write this; I was going to hold onto it a little longer as I come to terms with yet another label that goes right to my core and infiltrates everything. Two weeks ago I went to the doctor and explained that even though I struggle with anxiety the feelings of deep sadness, hopelessness and suicidal thoughts were new and they worried me. After a lengthy discussion I was diagnosed with reactive depression. Part of me was relieved that I finally had answers to the emotions...

Health + Wellbeing / 27.07.2017

Last week, in The Flickering Flame, I wrote how sometimes life really hurts. This week I wanted to write an appreciation post for those who help life hurt a little less. They are like warm sunshine on a cold and cloudy day. They are like honey with sweetness that can touch the rawness in my life and make it so much better. They bring out the best me and I love them alot. They are my friends and family. Showing vulnerability and being honest about how I am going...

Encouragement / 20.07.2017

Sometimes life really hurts. In moments like these it reopens wounds that had started to heal. Emotions are on edge as anger and sadness take turns in being the most dominant emotion. Once hopeful and optimistic to losing hope fast and feeling trapped. Knowing deep down that I am lovable but wondering how that can be. When my belief and trust in Jesus is down to all but a flickering flame that I consider walking away from my source of peace, hope and joy. Darker still, wondering for...

Health + Wellbeing / 13.07.2017

Semester two of university has started this week and I am a little apprehensive. Why? Well when I received my results for semester one it was confirmed that I had failed both subjects. so the whole semester. I say confirmed, because I knew instinctively I wasn’t going to pass based on the results I had been getting. But I still took it hard. For a few days I didn’t tell anyone outside my immediate family because I didn’t want to deal with their reactions fearing they would be...

Self Love / 06.07.2017

Luke 8:24 - 25 “The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Master, Master, we’re going to drown!” He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. “Where is your faith?” he asked his disciples.” As I write this week my foot is hurting due to straining it for the umpteenth time (thanks Dad for strapping it). It was already hurting but making chocolate brownies pushed it over the edge. On one hand I should have taken better care of my...

Encouragement / 08.06.2017

Psalm 18:16 – 17 “He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me.” I am in a darkened room like an old warehouse with only a few overhead lights. The rest of the room is in darkness. I stand under one of the lights. A small dragon like creature is in front of me with spikes all over its body, its claws long and...

Self Love / 01.06.2017

Psalm 139:15 -16 “My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” On Tuesday I had my first National Disability Insurance Scheme (NDIS) planning meeting. It was basically an information gathering session for them to ensure the supports put in place suit me, my lifestyle and my goals....