15 Sep New Beginnings
Ecclesiastes 3:11a ‘He has made everything beautiful in its time’
Signs of spring are everywhere: in the birds chirping, to new flowers opening in bud, to people just being generally happier. I love all seasons for the variety and good things that happen during that particular season. Summer, for the long sunny days perfect to be outdoors. Autumn, for the vibrant colours on the trees. Winter, for the bonfires. Spring, for flowers blooming. I love spring the most, it reminds me of fresh starts and new beginnings.
I have contemplated writing a blog for a while now but I couldn’t decide on a theme of conversation let alone stem the self – doubt and negativity that seems to always be swirling around in my head. Coming from a degree in Public Relations, Marketing and Journalism it seemed a natural flow on affect to write a blog, yet I hesitated “it has to be perfect”, I thought, otherwise I can’t write anything. This year, 2016, so far has been a year of personal growth for me coming to the realisation of many things (which I will share in later posts) one in particular is I don’t need to be perfect.
I will admit I am a perfectionist, it ruled all my decisions. I would get good grades at university but I wanted nothing less than perfection and thus was consistently disappointed. It did influence my relationships for example every time I caught up with friends I would be quick to agree to any suggestion they had surrounding the specifics of our catch up, I would let them choose to make them happy. Grabbing a coffee. What are you having? Movies. Which one are you keen to see? Restaurant. You choose. This became a way of life because I couldn’t handle their disappointment if I chose differently to what I perceived they wanted. I wasn’t convinced that my friends would love me, individual choices and all, just as I love their uniqueness. So this realisation was freeing, I didn’t need to keep striving for perfection in order to get love and worth. Don’t get me wrong I had always known in my head no one was perfect but I hadn’t allowed that fact to flow like warm milk and honey into my heart.
Perfection and excellence are two different concepts. Working towards excellence is not a bad thing depending on your motivation; mine came from constantly needing to feel worth and love. Jesus met me where I was and slowly, gently and lovingly taught me I don’t need to be perfect. I can be the flawed, broken, sinful and constantly failing me and He still loves me with reckless abandonment and still peruses a relationship with me and will be with me in the messiness of life… Always. This truth has had flow on effects for me, I am more lighter in spirit and more joyful not being constantly being weighed down by every single decision or making myself feel worse when life doesn’t go perfectly. It is still a constant, deliberate choice to replace the negativity from ‘no one will love me if I am not perfect’ to the truth ‘I am loved and lovable just as I am’.
Dandelion Dust & Honey has come out of a continuing journey of Jesus never giving up or letting go of me. Through every storm in life Jesus has been my one constant.
Ecclesiastes 3:4 ‘a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance’
I want to encourage you that certain seasons in our lives only last for certain periods of time just like the weather seasons – summer, autumn, winter and spring. As long as we have life we have the hope and anticipation of a new chapter. If we let Him, Jesus will be with us in every season of life. Jesus isn’t waiting for us to be perfect, He is waiting for us with arms outstretched.