Confidence is Growing

Do you remember last week in Happiness Challenge I wrote you are volunteering to gain confidence to be able to apply for paid work? Well over the last couple of weeks my confidence has grown little by little to the point where I didn’t have a panic attack and talk myself out of even applying for a job. Yay! At least for this time anyway; as I am prone to my anxiety ebbing and flowing. A few days previously someone said to me that I should apply for a position, to which I quickly responded that they would probably require experience which I do not have. Yet when I looked at the job description years of experience were not required. Each dot point was met with a: I could do that and after a friend encouraged me to apply; I applied.

Sure I am not perfect for the role I don’t have the required first aid training and in probably many ways I am as green as they come. But whether I get the position or not doesn’t really matter to me. The fact is I applied for a job! We need to throw an ‘anxiety didn’t have the final say’ party. It is a personal achievement for me and for that I am grateful and happy.

Riding on the high, I even looked at applying for another job which I didn’t end up applying for due to two reasons a) theoretically, thanks to my Strategic Communication degree, I could do what was required but I didn’t have demonstrated experience and b) travel to Melbourne and around Victoria would be required, which is challenging to say the least. I am disappointed but surprisingly I was able to let it go and not be critical of myself for days over things outside my control, namely Cerebral Palsy which is another personal win.

So what have I learnt from this experience?

When you are working on your weaknesses, mine in this case being confidence, be prepared to be surprised by yourself and Jesus.

Look at how far you have come and how much you have grown rather than lamenting over how much growing you still need to do.

Create smaller, short – term goals (I really struggle with this, so much so I needed to ask for help) to reduce the sense of failure and to increase the sense of accomplishment.

If it is meant for you the door will open, if not, that door was not meant for you. I have had past experience of trying to open doors that would not budge; leaving me with bruised emotions. You can read about it in Unexpected Detour.

Surrender; Jesus has even more awesomely, amazing plans for you than you can even imagine.

Don’t set your heart on it; I have had too many broken-hearted moments when my plans have fallen through. Have a backup plan.

Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Love,

Cathryn

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