Happy New Year

I hope you had a lovely Christmas and New Year’s celebrations. I had a wonderful Christmas and New Year’s. Having more energy was definitely a big factor in enjoying the festive season but it was more than that for me. It was making memories; for instance we played cricket as a whole family and welcomed in the New Year with family friends, glow stick bracelets, sparklers and fireworks on TV. So different from last year (Turning Over a New Leaf)!

The festive season gave me hope and excitement for the New Year. This year I am not going to have a New Year’s resolution. Goals, yes. Resolution, no. Why? Because I allowed my last year’s resolution so called failure to define me as a person (when will I learn?!). That without achieving it my value as a person somehow went down in my own mind.

Resolution is defined as a ‘firm decision to do or not do something’; whereas goal is defined as ‘the object of a person’s ambition or effort; an aim or desired result’. A goal offers more flexibility whilst still being determined to achieve; that if you encounter obstacles in the process of achieving your goal you just revaluate, adjust and keep going. It offers a healthier mindset. I did not consider this when choosing my New Year’s resolution for 2017.

My 2017 resolution was, I wanted to learn how to drive. Everyone was super excited and supportive when I first announced this resolution, especially with the sense of freedom it would give me. The driving lessons went pretty well for the most part. I progressed from going round and round an oval to the open road. Despite this there was something glaringly obvious that I struggled to do that no amount of practice would improve. That was looking around corners. Kind of important I know. I had to hold my hand on the brake (hand controls) rather than the traditional foot on the brake; I don’t have enough leg strength to do so not to mention my ankles are fused which provides greater stability when walking but limits range of motion. Consequently I couldn’t pull myself forward in the driver’s seat to gain a better view and therefore make sounder driving decisions. Don’t worry I didn’t crash into anyone, but it scared me enough to not want to learn to drive anymore.

Interestingly when I gave it up the desire to drive was happily shelved although not given up entirely. For me this was new. When dreams haven’t worked out in the past, like when I wanted to be a midwife, I have struggled big time to let it go and not let it get me down. This time however, not so. What I wasn’t counting on though, were other people’s reactions to my not learning to drive anymore. They were so disappointed that many times it left a lag in the conversation; they couldn’t quite understand my reasoning. This only added fuel to my negative self –talk which in late 2017 I realised I needed to work on – thankfully I have noticed a change in myself.

When I first embarked on the decision to learn how to drive my Dad encouragingly said ‘just have a go’. Then my Mum recently reminded me I didn’t fail at learning how to drive, if you want to get all technical, I did actually learn how to drive (the barest of basics) but I did it. I drove the driving instructor around which he indicted for me.

I guess the moral of this story is:

a) You can get hung up on everything you can’t do (I never learned how to parallel park) and compare yourself to others (I do this constantly unfortunately)

b) Or you can go about kicking your very own goals in your own unique way encouraging those around you to pursue their own dreams.

Numbers 6:24 – 26 “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face towards you and give you peace.”

Wishing you a very happy 2018.

Love

Cathryn

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