Health + Wellbeing / 01.02.2018

Due to Cerebral Palsy I struggle to walk backwards it is a lot easier to move forwards. Yet in life, figuratively speaking, I can bolt in the opposite direction at a moment’s notice. But I don’t want to be who I once was: full of fear and anxiety, lacking confidence and, at times due to these things, afraid to try; because let’s be honest not many of us like to fail even though falling down is a natural part of life. I read on Instagram one day that...

Encouragement / 18.01.2018

The day I finished up my volunteer position in November last year I chatted to my supervisor about ways I could improve. After offering a few suggestions and encouragement she said “you are really just lacking opportunities”. I knew in that moment I had been building to [dramatic music please]…APPROACHING AN EMPLOYMENT AGENCY! This is a huge step for me as it shows progress in acceptance, confidence and love of myself. As well as, to be honest, choking down my pride. My reasons for avoiding this avenue before was...

Health + Wellbeing / 28.09.2017

Last week when I wrote about 10 Things I Am Learning through My Journey with Depression I really surprised and hurt some of my family and friends. Why? Because I revealed an underlining thought pattern that has been with me for as long as I can remember. I am a burden. Four simple words that have wreaked havoc in the way I do life. I have physical limitations that come with a life touched by Cerebral Palsy. There are daily challenges and impossibilities, such as I can’t put on...

Health + Wellbeing / 21.09.2017

There are days when the struggle is really intense. On these days I am quick to tear myself to pieces. I feel like a huge burden to those around me. I wonder why they choose me as their friend or my family puts up with me because they have to; surely not because they want to. When the storm closes in tears are frequent. Overwhelmed is how I would describe days like these. I had one such day yesterday. I wanted to take on the world and change...

Health + Wellbeing / 07.09.2017

Do you remember last week in Happiness Challenge I wrote you are volunteering to gain confidence to be able to apply for paid work? Well over the last couple of weeks my confidence has grown little by little to the point where I didn’t have a panic attack and talk myself out of even applying for a job. Yay! At least for this time anyway; as I am prone to my anxiety ebbing and flowing. A few days previously someone said to me that I should apply for...

Health + Wellbeing / 17.08.2017

I have always had low confidence in myself period. It doesn’t matter which area of life we are talking about from my appearance to my talents low confidence seems to be the trademark. Do I want this? If a person was to describe me, what would they say? In the past, especially with my talents, I would manage to turn a compliment into self- induced pressure. I would stress about living up to that compliment next time. During my childhood I had more confidence in comparison to my teen...

Health + Wellbeing / 10.08.2017

I wasn’t going to write this; I was going to hold onto it a little longer as I come to terms with yet another label that goes right to my core and infiltrates everything. Two weeks ago I went to the doctor and explained that even though I struggle with anxiety the feelings of deep sadness, hopelessness and suicidal thoughts were new and they worried me. After a lengthy discussion I was diagnosed with reactive depression. Part of me was relieved that I finally had answers to the emotions...

Encouragement / 20.07.2017

Sometimes life really hurts. In moments like these it reopens wounds that had started to heal. Emotions are on edge as anger and sadness take turns in being the most dominant emotion. Once hopeful and optimistic to losing hope fast and feeling trapped. Knowing deep down that I am lovable but wondering how that can be. When my belief and trust in Jesus is down to all but a flickering flame that I consider walking away from my source of peace, hope and joy. Darker still, wondering for...

Health + Wellbeing / 29.06.2017

Numbers 6:24 – 26” The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face towards you and give you peace.” When plans don’t work out like we thought or hoped it can hurt but there will be something better for us, a sweeter dream for us to dream or maybe we need to wait longer making it more precious once it is achieved. In 2011, when I started year 12, I had no intention to...

Health + Wellbeing / 18.05.2017

2 Timothy 2:20 – 21 “In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for noble purposes and some for ignoble. If a man cleanses himself from the latter, he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work.” This week I have been preparing with Jesus to share a different part of my journey in life to a different live audience. This time I won’t...